This week, utilize our five strategies to assist you with your communication with your child during times of emotional distress.

Effective communication with autistic children can present challenges, particularly during periods of heightened distress. Each child's individual needs call for a customized approach; however, there are broad strategies that can facilitate communication in these trying moments. This blog post is designed to offer parents actionable methods to enhance understanding and establish a stronger rapport with autistic children who are distressed.

1. Create a Safe and Calm Environment

The first step in improving communication with an autistic child during distress is to create a safe and calming environment. Children with autism may be more sensitive to sensory stimuli than their neurotypical peers, and a chaotic environment can exacerbate their distress.

How to Implement:

• Reduce Noise: Turn off or lower the volume of background noise, such as televisions, radios, or loud conversations. Constant talking by others may be a particular trigger; try to move to an area that is familiar to your child, where there is also access to familiar activities and stimuli.
• Dim Lights: Bright lights can be overwhelming; dimming the lights can help create a soothing atmosphere.
• Offer Comfort Items: Allow the child to hold a favorite toy or blanket that provides them with comfort and security. A good rule of thumb is to place comforting items near your child without necessarily engaging in further communication.  Further instructions may cause more distress.
• Designate a Safe Space: Have a designated area where your child feels safe and can retreat to when overwhelmed. It is also worthwhile ‘practicing’ use of the sensory calm area when your child is not distresses to create routine.

2. Use Clear and Simple Language

When your child is distressed, it's crucial to use clear, simple, and concise language. Complex sentences or abstract concepts can be confusing and increase anxiety.  As a rule, try to match the length of your communication to the length and complexity of your child’s communication.

How to Implement:

• Short Sentences: Use short and straightforward sentences to convey your message. Choice language can be used here to support your child when he/she is not able to make concise choices.  If choice language leads to more distress, you can also provide a statement to let them know you are there before giving them space to come to you when they are ready.
• Concrete Words: Avoid using idioms, metaphors, or sarcasm as these can be difficult for autistic children to interpret. Make use of language that you know your child understands.

Repeat if Necessary: Be prepared to repeat instructions or reassurances calmly and patiently.  If your child is very upset, consider spreading out the 

• number of times to you speak to them until they initiate conversation with you, or reach out for comfort.

3. Visual Supports and Cues

Visual supports and cues can be immensely helpful in conveying messages to children with autism, especially during times of distress when verbal communication may be even more challenging.

How to Implement:

• Visual Schedules: Use visual schedules to outline daily routines or specific activities, which can provide a sense of predictability and reduce anxiety. Visual choice boards may also be helpful to let your child know what choices are available.
• Picture Cards: Employ picture cards to illustrate emotions, actions, or choices, helping the child understand what is happening or what is expected of them.
• Gestures: Simple gestures can complement verbal instructions and make it easier for your child to understand. It is important to consider that visual aids may not be effective for every child.  Consideration needs to be given to your child’s preference for communication format, as this may be more important during times of distress.

4. Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves not only hearing what your child is saying but also recognizing their non-verbal cues and responding empathetically. This approach can help de-escalate distress and build trust.

How to Implement:

• Eye Contact: While maintaining eye contact can be challenging for some children with autism, try to position yourself at their eye level and gently encourage them to look at you. Sometimes, children who are distressed may find it very challenging to maintain eye contact.  In this case, consider remaining within a safe distance of your child, and reconnect using eye contact when they demonstrate to you that they are more open for communication (e.g., by physically approaching you).
• Acknowledge Feelings: Validate the child's emotions by acknowledging their feelings and letting them know it's okay to feel upset.
• Reflect Back: Paraphrase what the child is trying to communicate to show that you understand and are engaged. Remember to keep communication clear, brief, and literal.

5. Teach and Reinforce Coping Strategies

Teaching children with autism coping strategies can empower them to manage their distress more effectively. Reinforcing these strategies during less stressful times can make them more accessible when needed.

How to Implement:

• Breathing Exercises: Teach deep breathing exercises that the child can use to calm themselves. Making breathing (if only one to two deep breaths) a part of a transition activity before giving out a reward or access to a preferred activity- or- toy may help your child to make this a routine task.
• Sensory Tools: Offer sensory tools like stress balls, fidget spinners, or weighted blankets that can help soothe your child. Sensory tools can also be used in conjunction with a keen observation of your child’s changing mood.  If you see that your child is becoming distressed, access to a calming/distraction activity may be used to help your child to learn progressive steps to regulating emotions.
• Social Stories: Use social stories to explain what to expect in certain situations and how to handle them, making the unknown less frightening. Some children may not be available for learning social stories.  Many children with Autism may also have an additional diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) that may make it more difficult for them to remain seated long enough listen to stories.  If this is the case, your child may benefit more from picture cards of different people, emotions, and environments that can be placed in different orders to help your child learn progressive skills to link different people, scenarios, and feelings.

Conclusion

Communicating with children with autism during times of distress requires patience, empathy, and a strategic approach. By creating a calm environment, using clear and simple language, incorporating visual supports, practicing active listening, and teaching coping strategies, parents, therapists, and educators can significantly improve their ability to connect with and support autistic children. Remember, consistency and understanding are key, and small steps can lead to meaningful progress. So, keep exploring and trying new approaches to find what works best for the child in distress.

Let us all continue to learn and grow together towards better communication with autistic children! Together we can make a difference – and grow brighter minds together.